this is actually the first time I have used deviantART as a journal, however at the moment it is my only option.  Though it has been over a month that I have been back from Philmont, I have failed to unpack a lot of things....namely, my journal.  I have a lot of drawings and photos that I need to upload from the trip as well...:S   But yeah, I should probably jump on that.

I usually use my journal as an outpouring when I am frustrated and nervous.  Right now I'm just anxious...though about what I am not exactly sure.  I've been trying to pinpoint it, but I haven't been able to put my finger on it right yet.  I'll get it in a while, I'm sure though.

Its 2.10 am, and..I am not tired to say the least.  Okay, so maybe that was a lie.  I am tired, but thoughts keep running through my head and that makes it extremely difficult to sleep. Life just keeps trying to play cruel jokes on me, so I try to sort them all out and end up staying up for hours on end attempting to make everything better.  

*sigh*  things will get better!  They always do...hehe at least I have faith they will.  Over the years, I have begun to see that.  That attitude is everything.  But yeah, sleep.  Sleep will come in time.  I think its better to lay in bed in the dark though, than with my computer on.  It is only delaying the sleeping process.  I'll write more soon.  I'm sure of it. <3